The Overstretched Jumper

So I have this cute navy blue jumper that I've had for a while. I think I wear it all the time. It's comfy and it goes well with my perfectly worn out, faded blue jeans. The jumper is overstretched because Jacob, my soon-to-be-4-year-old, loves coccooning himself inside my jumper to go "into mummy's belly", as he puts it. It's a thing he does that helps him relax before he has a nap. He loves the familiar warmth and smell of my skin. I like to think it's his primitive baby self looking for comfort. It's soothing to him. I'm writing about this because that jumper is a good symbol of my motherhood. Sometimes I feel over-stretched in my role. It's not easy to be at home full time with the kids. Sometimes worldly pursuits like a full time career is alluring, especially on those days when I am simply a little tired of mothering, or when those little monkeys push the boundaries, or when I really can't be bothered cooking a nice homemade healthy meal (dietitian here). Yep, full time work would provide some extra niceties, for example: exotic holidays, lavish dinners and romantic dates for hubby and I that are not necessarily on our anniversary, a bigger, lovelier home (in a lovelier neighbourhood), that awesome latest model people mover with automatic sliding doors and leather seats, hello! Sigh... Yes the pull of the outside is strong sometimes. The pull for career advancement and recognition is very tangible at times. 

But I guess all those things would come in direct exchange for me, and my time with the kids. I couldn't easily save the day if a child of mine urgently needed a change of clothes for school because they accidentally fell into a huge puddle and got themselves full of mud (true story, that happened yesterday). I couldn't be there right after school to hear the good, the bad and ugly that happened that day (happens every day). I couldn't go off exploring with my little one just because he wanted to go on a train ride (that happened last week). There would be less of me to go around. No me to meet them at the school gates. No me to settle their quarrels, to watch their   activities on social media, to help with homework, to get them involved in the kitchen with meals, no me to share an uplifting spiritual message at the breakfast table. 

There would be no me to settle my 3 year old into my overstretched sweater.

It's my choice be a mainly stay at home mum (I run a micro business). It's a choice I make on a regular basis. 

I respect women who work outside of the home for whatever reason, be it out of need or want. Motherhood demands a lot of us women. I respect every woman's choice. But I guess for me, right now I am happiest in my overstretched jumper (and slightly over stretched self), growing, and sometimes stumbling as I learn to mother my children the best way that I know how.

Jacob, partially cocooned in my overstretched jumper.